Trading beer for cigarettes.- Henry.

It is with great pride, but heavy hearts, that we announce that we are moving to North Carolina. Our papa has been offered a position at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem. We are very, very proud of papa and are glad that his hard work has finally paid off.

Mama has already called the realtor and has started packing up things in the house to get it ready for showings. Really what this boils down to is that all of my toys are now kept in the closet. Mama feels pretty good about cleaning out the house and wonders why she didn't do this sooner.

While we're very excited for this new phase in our life, we're very melancholy about leaving Wisconsin. Mama and Papa moved here right after they got married and both J.B. and I were born here and have lived here our whole lives. We've become accustomed to the traditions of beer, cheese, sausage, and football that Wisconsin made so great. Plus mama says that no matter how bad it gets, there's always someone pastier and fatter than she is.

But now we're trading it in to go to the hometown of tobacco tycoon R.J. Reynolds and the headquarters of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Maybe it is still kind of like Wisconsin. Home to rampant obesity and bad habits.

Mama is worried about moving to the south. As a lifelong Midwesterner, she heard what it's like down there and is a little intimidated by strangers having the audacity to call her "Sugar" or "Honey." She's also nervous about the rumor that people actually touch each other in the South and even, gasp, make eye contact with total strangers on the street. The heat must make people to crazy things. They probably don't even know who Garrison Keillor is down there.

But as much as mama loves Wisconsin, even she knows when it's time to throw in the towel and head to the Confederate states.

That's right. It's snowed today. I wonder if it counts towards the winter record considering Spring technically started a month ago.

So papa's hunkering down to finish his dissertation so he can defend this summer, and mama is getting down to the business of moving an entire house and family 906 miles from the only home this little family has ever known.

At least we'll be closer to Brett Favre.